Story 5

The Choice, Divine or Random

Their relationship started normally. Both were single, although one had been married before. Both enjoyed their first date, a trip to the circus. A circus is always so much fun. When the night was over, both knew there would be more time spent together. They dated for 6 months before marriage was discussed. Both knew they were in love, hell they did not have sex for the first 3 months (That's separate story for later). The wedding date was set for 3 months later. It was an uneventful wedding.

Their courtship lasted 9 months, sounds like waiting for a baby. Marriage was so new and exciting. Even though one had been married before, it was nothing like this. The other was in heaven with this new life. The honeymoon lasted 5 years. Then differences began to drive a wedge between them. Disagreement became more common and intense. Much time was spent in separate rooms. The words "I love you" were not spoken again. In fact, "I don't love you anymore" was most often heard. Sex became a distant memory. They spent as much time apart as possible without actual separation. Several months passed before they decided to separate. Both prepared mentally for divorce and the financial consequences.

In times of distress, we seek a confidant. With this couple one found a same sex confidant, the other opposite sex. The actual words of both people will never be known, but the result changed several lives.

Through mutual respect, one decided to move out. The other helped with the arrangements. Parting as friends so seldom happens. Both knew the blame was equally shared. The one who stayed told the other to come back any time and start over. Throughout their problems, both communicated with feeling, but one had a difficult decision to make later.

The opposite sex confidant became a good friend then a growing love. When the divorce was done, there would be a new couple already formed. They had dated secretly, enjoying the limited time they had for each date. Their relationship was now full love. The path of their lives seemed clear, but fate had a hidden trump card.

At the last moment, just as an apartment lease was being signed, there was a change of heart. The marriage was worth saving, the other person too important. Love returned to one heart seeking the other. One wanted to return, the other unsure how to accept. What of the new love for the confidant? Decisions, decisions. Rips your heart in two just thinking about it.

For a while there was a dangerous situation. The spouse and confidant shared the same person. Hard for one to decide. Dangerous for all involved. Both spouse and confidant knew it could not continue, yet afraid of the future. After much soul searching, crying, and second thoughts, the spouse decided to say yes to the reconciliation and leave the confidant behind. This couple is still married today, so the decision was correct. Or was it? When the two last meet, by chance in a restaurant, the conversation left no question both knew the door was still open even though both were in long term relationships with other persons.

Why would a person end a relationship with love, comfort, and a new beginning to return to uncertainty, discord, and unknown future just to retry an already failed marriage? No week goes by without the thought of what might have been crossing one mind. Why was the decision to retry made so late? What guides us to those decisions? Anybody? Anything? Is our life planned from the moment of birth? Are we merely guided and left to live with our decisions? Or are we left completely alone to decide everything for ourselves? Most all religions and beliefs teach us we are not alone. I am certain I am not alone. But to what extent do we live life for ourselves? Are we in control, guided, or ignored?